Welcome to the second installment of the Wrock Wreview! This week I had the honor of reviewing Welcome to 2458: A Wizard Rock Compilation Inspired by Performances in Room 2458. You know what FOMO is? That feeling of missing out? That’s what I feel when listening to this album. I want to be in the room where it happens! In this case, it’s a hotel room during Terminus, a harry potter conference, in Chicago. This album, compiled by Hawthorn & Holly, was originally released in 2008 to support the Harry Potter Alliance. On August 7th, Wizrocklopedia rereleased the compilation for a new audience. Somehow, this was my first time hearing it and I was not disappointed. Let’s get into it!

We start with a fun and catchy song from The Tonk. A Krummy Love Song is from the perspective of quidditch and Triwizard tournament hero Viktor Krum and he wants you to know that this seeker has more than just good looks. I especially love the “hermoninny” cries in the background and the callback to Krum by Justin Finch-Fletchley and the Sugar Quills released on the Hufflepizza EP earlier that year.

At this point, I know I’m in for a treat because this song takes a completely different turn. The Hufflepunks use beatboxing, a cool acoustic loop, and a beat to bring you Train Ride. With the haunting flute in the background, I feel the mystery of riding the Hogwarts Express for the first time.

A live performance from the House of Black greets us next. Are you a death eater, baby? A question we should all ask our significant others. Between the crack about Fox News (this came out 12 years ago?!) and liking centaurs medium rare, I found myself laughing along with the audience.

Another live performance comes next. Swish and Flick gives us Like a First Year, a parody of Like a Virgin by Madonna. The baby coos and bird chirps in the background make it even better. Taken from the perspective of Neville Longbottom, the song finds our hero down on his luck, but we know how that story ends.

Snidget slows it down with Bella, a song about Bella Lestrange. Giving us the line “It’s only unforgivable if you mean it” we know that this powerful and evil witch means it. Originally released in 2007 as Bella (The Woman Song), this song takes an often-hated character and highlights her determination and humanity.

You want to get hit? Sorry, I mean, do you want a hit? Listen to Don’t Call Me Dumbly by Romilda Vane and the Chocolate Cauldrons. Channeling my favorite Dumbledore, this silly song with its fun piano rhythm has Hogwarts’s former headmaster dancing in his magic pants and smacking anyone who gets his name wrong.

Give me those fizzing whizbees, baby! Hawthorne & Holly have me crazing a candy I’ve never had before. High energy with a driving acoustic guitar, my head started moving up and down on its own accord and my feet wouldn’t stop tapping. It’s either a spell or a finely crafted song. Either way, Fizzing Whizbees Baby is one of my favorite songs on the album.

Hufflepuff pride isn’t new! Yellow and Black by The Metamorphmagus parodies Pork and Beans by Weezer to show their house pride. In the Mirror of Erised, the only thing the Hufflepuff here sees is their own reflection, and I think that’s something we could all strive for.

Beautiful strings take us into a jazzy bassline and drumbeat. Draco better watch out, because he’s got the attention of The Witherwings in Yummy Malfoy. While I originally thought they meant that they would eat Malfoy in a metaphorical way, as the song ends, I think they mean literally. A little fried ferret to go with a glass of wine. Why not?

Kiss Me Again by The Gryffindor Common Room Rejects highlights an often misunderstood character, Seamus Finnigan. Maybe it’s the lack of eyebrows or his ability to blow up bridges that inspired this song but living in a cottage by the shore sounds nice – just make sure it’s fireproof.

Bella Lestrange makes her mark again with Azkaban by Bella and le Strangers. With the spirit of a sailing song, this seems like a song that Azkaban prisoners could sing to themselves through cell doors. I especially like how they highlight the inhumane treatment that Azkaban prisoners faced at the hands of dementors.

What a reminder that this album was put together in 2008. For Jo by Riddle™ is a thank you note to J.K. Rowling for creating Harry and the Potter universe. With her books, Rowling helped us grow up and inspired us to read and challenge authority. While this beautifully performed song initially made me uncomfortable, it did remind me of the things I’m grateful for.

Wow. Hogwarts, A History parodied I Wish You’d Be My Witch by The Mudbloods. Let me take you through my first experience of this song.

“Oh, I know this!”

“Oh..wait, what?”

“Transfigured your what now??”

“Ah..okay…we’re doing this.”

But in all seriousness, there are a few lines in this song that makes light of sexual assault that I do not like. Survivors might want to skip this last track. It’ easy to laugh at the funny parts of this song, but we can also be critical of its flaws.

All in all, what a great revisit to a defining era of wizard rock. This album brings together talented artists that helped set the foundation for our community. I highly suggest giving it a listen and taking a stroll down memory lane.

I rate this 20/10 chocolate frogs!

You can find the album on Bandcamp!