Hello, wrockers and friends! I’m happy you’re back. A new month is dawning, and a new theme with it—but first, let’s see what you’ve summoned for April’s theme.

WZRD’s Hostwitch Bess learned some new video editing skills to combine “Expecto Patronum” by Totally Knuts with Harry Potter movie clips and footage of her patronus, a dumbo octopus. Go Hostwitch Bess!

The Galleon Guy wrote the story of finding his patronus according to Pottermore. It’s well worth a read!

I want to tell you about a day.

A day like no other day.

A day that would change my life…. forever.

Let’s backtrack. It’s 2013. Pottermore has just come out. Everyone’s going ga ga over all the tests. Finally! We can know our house! Our wand! Our Patronus!

There’s only one very, very, small, itsy bitsy problem. I use some aids on my muggle boxes, and I wasn’t able to take the tests. I was forced to wait.

and wait.

and…. wait.

Until I met a fellow potter nerd who was willing to help me take the tests. Now think about this. It’s my freshman year at university. I’m entering the dorms for the first time. My roommate is frequently out so that’s not an issue but there are still a ton of people walking up and down the halls of the dorm. People I’ve only known for a month. People I want to impress. This will come back later.

So the first one we do is the house test. Answer the questions…. easy as pie. I get Ravenclaw. alrighty! That’s my house! hurray.

Next is the wand test. I got my result. 12 3/4, unicorn hair, and pine. Pine? Seriously? The most breakable thing ever? Pine? Really? It had to be pine? and Unicorn hair? It’s kinda cool and all, but kinda basic. whatever. I’m gonna have a really cool Patronus…. right? right? Pottermore, you listening to me? I better have a real cool Patronus to compensate for my real basic wand.

OK. So it’s Patronus time. Do the test. It feels like it’s a million questions long. In reality…. I don’t know. It probably was a million questions long I just don’t remember anymore.

And she’s like…. want to hear your result?

And I’m like sure.

So she says…. your patronus is a vole!

And I start googling bc I’ve got no idea what the crap a vole is. And it’s this thing that burrows into the ground.

And up and down the dorm hall…. these people hear me shout.

“a…. fucking…. vole!!!!!!”

Because what the heck? Seriously? A freaking vole? Couldn’t I have gotten something cooler? Like a giant? A werewolf? An eagle? Something that’s gonna eat them dementors?

But noooooooooope… I got something that’s just gonna burrow into the ground and not protect me a lick.

and that’s why, dear reader, I’m still salty about my patronus.

The Bookish Hufflepuff took inspiration from the above story to make something tangible as part of a larger project. I don’t think there’s anything else like it! She says:

I’ve been working hard on friendship bracelets for Enchanticon this month. Along with all the wizard rock bracelets, I made this for The Galleon Guy to go with his patronus story.

For May, let’s enjoy sunshine as our theme as we continue in WZRD Radio Podcast’s Summer of Fun! Nothing needs to be polished or even complete. Just have fun, and please do share!