Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Jam: July 2022

A "Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Jams" sweets label with red and white stripes and the text on a yellow scroll.

It’s summer break for Hogwarts! It’s also a new month, which means a new creative challenge here at Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Jam. Before we talk about July’s Jam, let’s see how wizard rockers did on their history homework.

TK of Totally Knuts gave a scathing but reasonable criticism of Hogwarts historians:

This school’s history
Was never documented
A snake in the pipes?!?

Sagan of Candle Wix added a beatboxing track to Lauren Fairweather’s classic Making History, giving it a new burst of energy:

 

Meanwhile, I caught a bit of a lecture by Professor Binns. I was hoping to share more, but one of us keeps falling asleep in the middle of me trying to explain what I want to do. For now, here’s a sample:

 

This month, let’s stay hydrated, keep cool, and make a splash with the theme of water! Whether you conjure it, turn it to rum, or take a swim in the Black Lake, I look forward to hearing all about what July’s prompt inspires you to do. As usual, any medium is welcome, so now’s a good time to break out the watercolors. Have fun!

3 responses to “Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Jam: July 2022”

  1. Totally Knuts Avatar

    I say it again:
    Who allowed this to happen…
    A SNAKE IN THE PIPES?!?

  2. Sagan Avatar
    Sagan

    OK, this one’s gonna need a bit of explaining. Inspired by the latest WZRD Radio episode (https://wzrdradiopod.com/2022/07/15/episode-54-chloe-ament) and Chloe Ament’s music about the Marauders (https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/chloeament/broken-bodies-broken-hearts), I started reading the amazing fanfic All The Young Dudes by MsKingBean89. I am MIGHTILY impressed & I highly recommend everyone check it out! You can find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057010?view_full_work=true

    Anyhoo, I really want to write some songs based on it at some point. It’s so rich and awesome and worthy of good wrock songs!

    However, those will just have to wait. Because the first thing that popped into my head was a ridiculous karaoke parody of Electric Light Orchestra’s “Show Down,” inspired by the raincloud prank gone wrong that Lupin played on Snape in his first year. My brain mainly made that connection because of this month’s theme lol

    I dashed it off at tip top speed and I only did about a 3rd of the song, so it is neither polished nor particularly good, but hey, it’s creative, right?

    If you haven’t read All the Young Dudes (I highly recommend you do!), the necessary context for this parody can be found in chapters 10 and 14 of book one. Enjoy, I suppose! Stay tuned for actual new music from me soon as well.

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/15Pe33LDSBn-ifBgO59a3Boaq10rzZgzC/view?usp=sharing

    Lyrics:

    Snape, he sent Peter tons of sweets
    To make marauders hairy when they eat
    They planned to make revenge real sweet
    Headed for a show down

    Remus practiced the raincloud charm
    Didn’t mean to do no permanent harm
    But the moon was sounding the alarm
    There’s gonna be a showdown

    And it’s rainin’ all over Snape
    It’s raining all over Snape
    Tonight, Snape is not alright

    1. Sagan Avatar
      Sagan

      Here’s the original song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHsUGJ4jDsw

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *