How Wizard Rock Could Have Stopped World War I

(and, by default, World War II)

Written by Rachel.

In the world today, life is competition. Where I’m from, even your friends are your constant competitors. There’s struggle to be the best at everything you do. Me, personally? I would be three feet underground right now (at least spiritually) had I not been introduced to wizard rock.

“Wizard Rock” should really be defined as “togetherness.” I mean, just look at the MySpace pages! Every day, they’re flooded with comments and requests. That’s love for you. Those are real fans. And the best part? We all have one life-consuming obsession in common: Harry Potter. Sure, other bands have fans united in the name of the band. But how many regular genre-ed bands can claim that each and every one of their fans has read at least six of the same books?

Not many.

And there is none of that insane competition that populates the rest of human society. Oh, I suppose we all strive to someday have the numbers on our play counts that, say, Harry and the Potters do, but in the end it’s just about having a good time. Everyone loves the people, the stars, the books, the movies, the music’s this whole interconnected web of what other people, such as certain Muggles I’m related to, may sometimes refer to as “psychos.”

Let me just say that I am PROUD to be a psycho.

Also that I really think that I am less of a psycho than, say, Hitler. See what I’m getting at? If world leaders around that era had just decided to chill out, stop trying to knock each other out to be the most powerful, and listen to some wizard rock (disregard for the sake of proving a point that wizard rock did not exist at the time, nor, in fact, did Harry Potter), the world would be a better place today.

Now, I’ll admit this upfront — I have only actually been in live attendance at one wizard rock performance (The Greybacks, DJ Luna Lovegood, The Hungarian Horntails, Fred and George, and The Remus Lupins at Mt. Kisco Public Library — AMAZING! December 7, 2006–a day to be remembered indeed). Never before had I felt so completely comfortable with a group of people. You’d think we already knew everyone there–it was like a wonderful, crazy extended family…

Alex Carpenter himself came right up before the show with a handshake and a hello. As if we didn’t know who he was. DJ Luna walked around looking for something to bribe little Oliver (when does he get his own band?) with. Little Oliver then proceeded to steal the microphone from his dad, The Cedric Diggorys/Greybacks and inform the audience that it was “my turn!” It was like home. The whole show was just laughing (how many messed up things does he have to do?!) and singing (like the twins but much better) and screaming (DRAGON ROCK RULES!) and totally rocking out (all of the above).

The tedious details: it was a Thursday night, and I had homework. I had to go to school the next day. But it just didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Everyone just went with whatever.

Take Darius, for instance, of The Hungarian Horntails. The boy is adorable, and I admire him greatly for being so young and so dedicated to something. Not even 10 years old and he’s already singing (or screaming) his heart out with the best of them. He stands up there and yells into the microphone, strumming his tiny electric guitar, and you just love every minute of it, despite the occasional painful feedback. They start them so young these days–and thank Dumbledore they do, or who would carry on the wrock revolution when we’re all gone? Who cares about sophisticated, complex, or classical music when you can dance the night away to the amazing sound of a kid following his dreams?

Oh, and dance we did, or, in his case, roll around on the floor. It was a total loss of inhibition without doing anything illegal. Wizard rock is THE new hippy wave. I can only imagine what the WizRock Woodstock will be like (hint — anyone out there wanna sponsor that?).

Because I recently wrote an English paper on “the structured world and the damage it does to you,” I consider myself an expert on the subject (and sophomore English 21 is totally expert quality). I can say with absolute certainty that living your entire life in a world where rules matter and the future is everything is unhealthy. It’s this horrific mindset that most likely led to all of those World Wars. Wizard rock is a break from that monotone: there are no rules, there is no future, there’s just now. As the great Remus Lupins put it: “tell me, what good are plans when that scar begins to hurt?”

Rock out. Live longer. Be happy. Be alive.

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