The Band

Happy Saturday y’all! I hope you’re staying warm and safe. Today I’m going to review How to Write With a Feather by The Hermione Crookshanks Experience. This album has a whopping 23 tracks!! Originally released on July 9 of 2007, the album was rereleased on November 6, 2020.

The Tracks

Scattered throughout the album are names of spells. Each of these get their own song that is under a minute long, and they’re all so catchy that I wish I could cast a spell to turn them into full-length songs!

Trains, Doubts, and Dreams is first up on the album. The song starts out with a nice instrumental beginning, with the feel of riding on a train. The rhythm section conveys a sense of bumping along on train tracks. The vocals are soft and flowing, creating a calm vibe. This is a wonderful start to a wonderful album.

Again starting with a sweet instrumental intro, the second song is called Float Away. There are some amazing harmonies in this one. Hermione sings about how she knows the feeling of being alone, and wishes that if she just casts Wingardium Leviosa on her cares, they will simply float away.

Episkey only lasts for 30 seconds, and is our first short spell song.

We head Into the Forbidden forest in the next track. I appreciate the sound of crickets in the background (fun fact – the sound of crickets is one of my all time favorite sounds). This song tells of Umbridge disappearing into the forest at the end of her time as Inquisitor at Hogwarts.

Lumos is another short one, coming in at 43 seconds. Again, it is a bop that I wish would keep going!

Next up is Not the Messenger. This piece references when Ron and Harry got into an argument, and turned Hermione into their messenger since they were not talking to each other. Obviously, Hermione did not appreciate being treated like an owl. There are some great instrumental solos in this one, and the message of the song is great as well (no pun intended).

Ennervate is the next short spell.

Hermione sings to Ron in Hey Hey Ron. She doesn’t want to fight with him and she expresses her regrets of the arguments they have had in the past. I love the piano part in this one, and I continue to adore the vocals.

Have you ever wished you could repair a relationship with a single spell? Reparo is the next spell song and sings exactly about that wish.

Luna Lovegood is clearly getting on Hermione’s nerve with the next song, Driving Me Crazy. Super fun and upbeat, the lyrics to this song are funny and cute. You’d think that out of all the Gryffindors, Hermione would be the one who would relate the most to a Ravenclaw. It just goes to show you stuff. (Over the Garden Wall reference, anyone?)

Versus starts with an electric guitar, which is a very cool change of sound. The rock band sound combined with the sweet vocals are such an awesome combination. This one only lasts a minute, so enjoy it while you can!

Hermione wishes she could cast Scourgify on the mess she’s made of her life in this short spell song.

Did you know Hermione is a Treehugger? It’s true! Climate change is real, and we should all treat the nature around us with the kindness it deserves. Hermione is not ashamed to say that she hugs trees every day. I love the guitar in this song.

Bonjour Fleur is about… well to be honest, I don’t know – I don’t speak French! Aside from the very beginning, the whole song is in French. Even though I didn’t understand the words, I still very much enjoyed it.

We have an astral-sounding song next with Trelawney. The instrumentals in this one are reminiscent of shooting stars and galaxies swirling slowly above. You don’t need to be a mind reader, because Hermione tells Trelawney exactly what’s on her mind in this one.

Xylophones start the next song, Broken Hearted. I am really impressed by the vocal range (which I believe goes down to the E below the staff all the way up into a head voice). I love the simplicity in this song – it lends itself to its own beauty.

Here’s another short song: Obliviate. I notice that a lot of the spell songs in this album focus on using these spells to change the way things have gone. Has something gone wrong and you want to erase the memory from your mind? Just cast Obliviate on yourself*! (*Not recommended – very dangerous.)

We know how Hermione feels about Lavender Brown: she’s So Conceited. When it comes to Ron Weasley, Hermione is firm on where she stands and how she feels.

Variations on a Theme is another short song, even though it isn’t named after a spell. The best way to describe this one is short and sweet!

If you’re looking for someone to answer any question in a class at Hogwarts, Hermione is sure to know it. Pick Me! In the Classroom is all about Hermione’s knowledge of the content that students learn. The underlying beat to this song rocks.

Rictumsempra is the last spell song on the album. Even though this spell causes someone to laugh, the lyrics to this song resonate with sadness because she is only casting it on herself to have a reason to smile again.

Get Ready and Prepared for the next Dumbledore’s Army meeting! Grab your wand and prepare to learn how to cast some spells. The instrumentals in this one are simplistic and the beat is catchy.

Just Wanted to Say is the last song in this amazing album. Hermione expresses her gratitude in this one. Who is she thanking? I’ll leave that up to you to decide.

In Summary

I always love listening to The Hermione Crookshanks Experience. It was one of the first ever bands I listened to when I first got into wizard rock. I continue to appreciate the vocals, harmonies, and instrumentals in each and every song. If you need a calming playlist to listen to, if you’re a fan of Hermione, or if you want some amazing music stuck in your head, I definitely recommend giving this album a listen (at least once!). I rate this album 23/23 fluffy orange cats!